Hey, folks – Max Bedroom here.
It’s odd that the first two Radical Life Lessons are about ghosts, but here we are. You might be thinking that I should have spread out the ghost lessons, but for all you know they’re all about ghosts. You’ll just have to stay tuned to find out.
Since the dawn of time, ghosts have been committing crimes. They hide your car keys so that you’re late for work. They mess with the lights. On, off, on, off. They whisper in your ear such soothing phrases as “Get out” and “Die.” Oops, that was my first wife, not ghosts. And, according to her lawyer/boyfriend, those aren’t actually crimes.
What kinds of crimes do ghosts commit? They push people in front of cars, buses, and trains. They damage property. They moan a lot. Maybe that’s not a crime, but it should be. The point I want to make here is if a ghost steals your wallet, your car, or your first wife, don’t tell anyone. Don’t go to the police; they’re already busy with human and animal crimes. Don’t tell your family and friends; they don’t care. Don’t tell your insurance company; they aren’t paying out that claim. And certainly don’t tell your first wife; she’ll use it as an excuse to get more money out of you.
Just keep quiet and move on…preferably to a place with fewer ghosts and no ex-wives.